10 painful but true facts when dealing with a mental illness

This won't come as a shock to most people that read my blog, but if you're new then firstly hello and secondly, yes, recently I've found myself becoming very public about my mental health issues and not being too embarrassed to tweet my day to day emotions or speak up when I'm having a bad day.

It dawned on me just how much I've been holding back. Either too embarrassed to mention or too scared of worrying other people but here is what I think EVERYBODY should know. It doesn't matter whether it's you directly affected by a mental health illness, somebody you know or if you've had no experience of it at all!

This list is purely based on my own thoughts, feelings and experience with my mental health, not anybody else's.

1. When we push you away or distance ourselves from you, it REALLY means we need you. 

I have first-hand experience with this one and I know it can be a little confusing and at times extremely frustrating for the person who just wants to help. But for me, I find this almost gives me some sort of protection. If I don't allow people to get close to me then well surely I can't get hurt, but nope that's wrong in so many ways. We only end up hurting ourselves more and the people we love.

2. We don't mean to cancel plans, drop out last minute or let you down. 

Another thing I am scoring top marks in! I can arrange something weeks even months in advance and be totally up for it, but if that day comes around and I wake up feeling like the world is crumbling down around me I'll probably hide in my bed for the rest of that day feeling guilty for letting somebody down but have anxiety so bad I couldn't possibly get out of my front door.

3. Hearing somebody say 'cheer up', 'what have you got to be depressed about?' or 'stop being so boring/sad all the time' is the WORST thing to say. 

This is incredibly insulting, hurtful and well just rude. You can't see a mental health illness, so yeah you might not mean any harm from it but seriously, it really fucks us up.

4. Being around people that are full of life 24/7 is exhausting at times. 

Okay, so this one sounds a little harsh and you're probably thinking but surely it's good to have positive people around you? Yes, of course it is! I love it but I also find it hard at times to keep up and act in the same manner, because let's face it, who wants to be the "boring, sad one all the time" huh?

5. It hurts when you stop inviting us out places, just because we say no sometimes. 

This one sucks. If you invite us out 10 times and we say no each time, still ask us again the 11th time! That might just be the day where everything is going right, whereas the 10 times before wasn't.

6. Visible obvious self-harming scars do not need to be stared at, whispered about or judged.

Yep, seriously this happens. Not to me may I add, but somebody I know. Again this may not intentionally be done in a malicious way but we notice, we know they are there and we can't hide them forever.

7. Being 'good' or 'happy' for a period of time does not mean we're suddenly free from our mental illness, so no we wasn't 'faking it'. 

This simply means today's going well and we hope more than anything it stays that way for as long as possible, but ultimately we know tomorrow could be completely different so bear with us.

8. Some days just making it out of bed and showering can be an accomplishment! 

Let's just say when it gets bad, it's bad.

9. It can be a constant battle with wanting to get better, but also not wanting to open up to others in fear of being judged or treated differently. 

Support is everything in somebodies recovery.

10. Being the 'outsider'. 

Yep, it happens. Nobody wants to be the person everybody walks on eggshells around in fear of upsetting you. If you know somebody with a mental health illness, act how you always have with them, we're still the same, we promise.

It's time to encourage more people to talk about mental health! Thanks for reading.


  1. Oh my god Han, that is just brilliant. That really does sum up my life for the past 21 years. I think we are made from the same mould! Always here for you, I hope you know that. I know I haven't been around much for anybody but life is just one round of driving here, their and everywhere, all in the name of ice hockey. Love you loads xxxxxx

  2. I couldn't agree with you more on this. You've literally said everything I've been thinking for the last 2 years (since officially diagnosed).I've always felt like the outsider with my friends because I find myself saying no to think that push my boundaries too far...then after a while you just done get considered any more.

    Glad to see someone speaking about mental health :)

    Katie xox