Accepting life with a mental health illness

If you're a frequent visitor to my blog, something I don't think anybody has been for the last few months due to me disappearing off the face of the earth in the blogging world then you'll know I've done a few blog posts writing in small detail about mental health. Well this post is going to be full blown, in your face, no hiding from it mental health and exactly how I've been dealing with it.

I really only decided to do this post as a 'back to blogging' kinda thing. I couldn't just disappear for months on end and then come back with a seemingly normal 'my favourite products' post or something along those lines. I feel like I have to explain a little about why I took a break from blogging and what's pushed me back into writing again. The truth is, I love blogging. I always have and I hope I always will. I really missed all the friends I made from starting my blog, it's like I just lost all motivation and couldn't be bothered to look after myself or anything I loved doing. I started this blog almost a year ago with every intention of making it somewhat a success, not to anybody else, but myself. It was mine, it was/is something I can be proud of. Carrying on with my blog and putting out half-heartedly content was not something I wanted to do nor was it the route I wanted my blog to go down.

It's been about 7 months now since I felt like that dark mist had come over me again (is that really cliché?), something I couldn't shake off, no matter how hard I tried. Imagine trying to battle with your own mind, EVERY day. It isn't something that's easy and the worst part is it's something you absolutely can't escape. How are you supposed to go about your normal day when all that's on your mind is, I need to get out of this place or I can't physically do anything because I'm so mentally exhausted. The mixture of feeling those things and being in a physically demanding job with long hours was just a recipe for disaster. I knew after about 3 months of feeling this way I needed to stop and just take a break from my normal day to day routine and thank god I did because I fell to pieces. I lost who I was, I lost all excitement from my life and I got used to masking my emotions. I basically withdrew myself from the world and it felt like I never wanted to re-join it. 


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After 4 months off work, therapy and medication I can finally say I'm starting to feel myself again. I've accepted bad days are going to happen and that sometimes there is no stopping them, but I've realised through all of this I have the power to create better days for myself. I'm learning to help myself a little more, instead of enabling my brain to take over and convince myself of stuff that isn't true. It's been a long and very hard few month but I do see the light at the end of the tunnel and the fact that I've managed to sit down and type all of this just goes to show how far I've come these past few months.

I'm back to blogging, very soon I shall be back to work and generally just living my life again.

4 comments:

  1. Big hugs lovely!
    Glad your feeling more like yourself again, I know just what it's like to battle your mind daily it really does take it out of you, heres a huge high five to showing it who's boss! x

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  2. Massive hugs, Han. I'm so proud of you for writing this, it can't have been easy. So glad to have you back, I've missed you lots. You got this, sweets <3 Love you xxx

    Sarah <3

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    1. Thank you lovely, you've been so kind throughout it all! I'm glad to be back, got lots of catching up to do on your blog. Love you xx

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