10 misconceptions of being a Feminine Lesbian

I never know whether to start my LGBT posts by coming out as gay EVERY time so any new readers know from the get go, or if older readers were oblivious to this fact. If so, how? I thought you all knew. But anyway, now that's over and done with I thought I'd do a little less serious post as all my LGBT ones seem to be quite serious and get a little too emotionally deep for my liking. I've read quotes and other similar things about misconceptions of being lesbian, gay, trans, bi and so on and then it came to me, I've heard so many relating to myself being what I class as a 'femme' lesbian and I couldn't help but laugh. Ready for a list, we all love lists don't we.

1. "How are you a lesbian if you're girly?" 
Hahaha oh god this one is p a i n f u l, SO painful and ignorant. Sometimes I find it hard to comprehend. Now listen up, because I like women do I suddenly have to cut 'girly' things out of my life, like seriously? Can't I paint my nails as well as liking girls, can't I love make up without it making me any less of a lesbian. 

2. "It's just a phase" 
Those 4 words are enough to drive anybody crazy, let alone when you're trying to tell somebody you're definitely, 100%, no doubt about it a lesbian. I mean for me coming out wasn't the easiest, as far as I know nobody expected it so when I did I know it was a shock for some. 

3. "You don't look like a lesbian." 
This is one where my hands quickly go over my eyes over the complete and utter stupidity of this saying. HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO LOOK? Our sexuality doesn't determine our personality or the way we look. We look and dress how we want to just like everybody else. We don't need to conform to any kind of 'look' because we are lesbians. If you want to dress girly, dress girly, if you don't want to that's okay you dress however you want. 

4. "Why do you date girls that looks like boys?" 
Right okay, so I've not experienced this one but it's so dumb I had to include it. Believe it or not I've read on the internet before someone say feminine lesbians date more 'butch' lesbians because they secretly like men, the logic in that I have no idea but it's pretty funny in an 'aww you're so ignorant' kinda way. 

5. We're all in fact bisexual. 
Yep you heard it, it's absolutely impossible to be a lesbian unless you have the guide to 'how to be a real lesbian' that's where it tells you how to dress and how to cut your hair like a lesbian. Lesbian haircuts exist, didn't you know? Sarcasm, of course.

6. We hate men. 
If you're a feminine lesbian apparently we hate men, we aren't dressing like one to prove we're a lesbian so we must hate them. Yeah that makes perfect sense! 

7. "So you're obviously the girl in the relationship" 
Well umm, I date girls, I'm attracted to girls, so hopefully we are BOTH girls. Uh yeah I'll leave you to think about this one.

8.  We aren't really gay at all.
Again you heard it, we're faking it. We go through the painful, awkward process of coming out to our loved ones only to be denying that in actual fact we're straight. This opinion is actually pretty offensive, don't ever say it to anyone. 

9. "But you're too pretty to be a lesbian"
This one's for the beautiful girls out there that face this huge misconception. So are lesbians ugly? Best get my 'how to be a real lesbian' guide out again and find page 30 where it rules you must not be pretty. Yes, I'm in!

10. It's just for attention. 
I have no words. 

There we have it, a list of ridiculous misconceptions and a heck lot of sarcasm. Let's just remember these don't just relate to femme lesbians, they relate to others too. 


  1. As a bisexual girl in a relationship with a lesbian, we've both heard all of these at least once or twice between us. Is there no end to people's ignorance?

    Rachel | www.currentlyrachel.com

    1. It can get really rather annoying, can't it? I mean most of it I can just laugh off now, but when I first came out, if I heard any of these it would make me so upset. Like you said its pure ignorance x

  2. so true, as a lesbian i agree with this article, i`m actually proud to be lesbian i even wrote about it https://kovla.com/blog/i-m-a-lesbian-and-i-m-proud-of-it/, maybe you will like it!enjoy